when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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