fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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