What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
