I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
