Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
