whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You don't make any sense
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