Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
