Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
