this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
