oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
