Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize