Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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