You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
