Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You were trust falling into bushes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
