South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
