I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
