Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
