you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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