I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
