There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
