I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
