i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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