I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
