ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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