we have officially lost it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
