so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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