I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
