So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
