I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
