she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
