Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
