Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
