Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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