Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
