On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
