At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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