Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
