so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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