I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
