do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
