I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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