Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
