i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize