why didn't you poke me back
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
