I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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