Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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