kristin has been a bad kristin
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
