I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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