Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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