why didn't you poke me back
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
