Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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