Fuck appropriateness.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
