i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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