I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
