he puts the penis in happiness.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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