i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
