whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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