The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
