with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
