is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
