She said her name was "party"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize