At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
