But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
