remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize