I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
