If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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