nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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