tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
